My Ojai Garden

By Leslie Hidley

Dear Reader,

I want to tell you a story that I heard Bruno Bettleheim tell. He was a psychoanalyst and he told the story to my then-husband, John Hidley’s psychiatry residency class at Napa State Hospital many decades ago. Bettleheim was talking about the differences between how modern children were raised – especially children of the middle class and the rich and how children of the poor were raised in the past.

A woman took her ten children to the park in the city where they lived and the children played until they were exhausted. And the mother, who was exhausted from playing with them and watching over them, gathered them around her and said, “This park is known for the presence of mother-stealers. So I am going to take a nap, and I want you to sit and guard me so no one snatches me while I am sleeping.” This was in the days before such things as babysitters. So the mother lay down on the grass and the children assembled themselves around her with their backs to her and glaring outwardly, looking fiercely in all directions, just in case….

Now, I don’t really know why I am telling you that story because what I want to talk about is grace.  If you know a connection, write and tell me.

The other day, I’d been sick for some time, was broke – had seven dollars to my name and a pack of Kools is eight bucks and change, plus the fridge was nearly empty and I was exhausted.  I sent an email to a half dozen people who have jobs and things to do in the day and no likelihood of reading said email, asking one of them to get me a pack of Kools and some huevos rancheros from Jim and Robs. Naturally, my judgement being what it is, nothing happened. So I finally borrowed money from the butler and asked him to go to Joe’s Quik-Stop on Signal and ask Rami for a pack of Kools and some butter and made myself eggs and toast and smoked enough to raise my blood-nicotine levels along with my blood-sugar levels.  Things started looking up.

But while I was waiting, I had a chance to think about grace – the saying of grace before meals, gracious people I know, God’s grace, the practice some Buddhist monks have of not eating unless food is offered.  What if we forgot to offer?  There would be monks keeled over on the ground!  It is important to share what we have.

So in the middle of the night, I woke up and came into the living room to see the fireplace mantel and buffet festooned with fairy lights in the darkened living room, due to the grace and courtesy of Peggy La Cerra and Wyn Matthews.

Isn’t it beautiful!

XXXOOO